If you’ve already read the title don’t freak out! I’m only logging off for the weekend off of all of my social media. I need to unplug. I have been spending much too much time mindlessly scrolling. And it’s not so much the issue that I’ve been scrolling so much (it’s therapeutic at times), but that I have begun to feel very anixous.
Lately I have been so on edge that when my head hits the pillow and my eyes shut my brain races and keeps me awake for another 2-3 hours. I am tired.
The thing, is I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t see a therapist (I’m overseas and he’s on vacation), and I can’t even sit still long enough to meditate anymore. So for now I am trying to find what the root of this anxiety is. So social media has got to go. We’ll start with today through Monday and see what it’s like to live “off the grid” for a bit. This is certainly an addiction I need to kick.
On the second hand I also want to have more time to read and to create art. I complain about not having enough time in a day, but then how many wasted minutes have I spent on instagram, instead of picking up a book? How many stupid snapchats did I watch instead of pouring some ink out? Some paint? I’m starting to think the anxiety stems from not being productive. Not being creative enough when that is (I think anywas) what my passion is.
I also know that whatever I am anxious about now will be irrelevant in a month. I know this because the root of my anxiety in May is no longer an issue. Time is the best doctor. Along with being kind to yourself.